The 4 Relationships Within Your Marriage
A marriage is not a single relationship — it is an amalgamation of various, interconnected relationships! Just as people hold multiple roles within their work or friendships, these delineations also exist within a marriage. While each relationship might manifest a bit differently, here are the most common relationships within a marriage:
Co-Parent/Co-Nurturer
Wether you have children or not, you are tending to the growth of something together. This can be raising children, caring for aging or ill family members, tending to the community.
Business Partner
From budgets to taking out the garbage to meal prep, your household has many action items that must be completed in order to run. These items make up the business partner aspect of your marriage.
Friend
Frederick Nietzsche supposedly once said, “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” Whether he actually uttered these words or not, the wisdom of the quotation is helpful. Friendship is often the glue that holds these marriage relationships together.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend
The advice to “Never stop dating each other” may sound trite, but is it wise! This relationship within the marriage is truly special and can be one that people forget to tend to in the busy-ness of life.
All four of these relationships are interwoven — when one is hurting, it impacts all of the others! And to put this another way — when one relationship improves, it helps all of the others. For example, being a better business partner can improve your boyfriend/girlfriend relationship — if your arguments about money improve with a plan and transparent hopes, it unlocks the ability to intentionally go out on dates again with designated fun money. If you’re a more respectful co-parent who has a united front with the children, it can likewise improve your friendship and give you fun things to discuss together.
Tending to each of the 4 relationships within your marriage can help to give language to where you are feeling that you are doing quite well, and where you are feeling your relationship could use some tending.
Scroll back up, re-read the list, and ask yourself how you could improve in each of these ‘relationships’ within your marriage. If you — or someone you know — needs help improving these 4 relationships within a marriage, reach out! If I am not a good fit, I will help you find someone who is.