The Scarcity Mindset and Its Impact on Relationships

Couples Therapy, Money Stress, Financial Therapy

Scarcity mindset is a powerful phenomenon that can have a significant impact on individuals and their relationships.

This can stem from lots of issues — financial trauma in family of origin, job loss history, or recession-based impacts on developmental stage (hello, millennials!!!)

When individuals adopt a scarcity mindset, they constantly focus on what they lack rather than what they have, leading to a sense of perpetual scarcity in their lives. This mindset is rooted in fear, anxiety, and the belief that resources are limited, causing people to develop unhealthy behaviors and attitudes towards money and other areas of their lives.

Here's a few ways that how a scarcity mindset can impact your relationship:

1. Financial tension and disagreements:

When both partners are trapped in a scarcity mindset, financial tension becomes a common occurrence. They may constantly argue about money, even over minor expenses, because they perceive any spending as a threat to their limited resources. These arguments can create a toxic environment and erode trust and understanding between partners.

2. Overemphasis on material possessions:

A couple afflicted by a scarcity mindset may place undue importance on material possessions. They may believe that acquiring more things will provide a sense of security and happiness. This can lead to a never-ending cycle of chasing material wealth, overspending, and accumulating debt, which further reinforces the scarcity mindset and jeopardizes the couple's financial well-being.

3. Difficulty in planning for the future:

A scarcity mindset often hinders a couple's ability to plan for the future. Instead of focusing on long-term goals and financial security, they become preoccupied with immediate concerns and short-term survival. This shortsightedness can prevent them from making proactive financial decisions that would benefit their future, such as saving for retirement or investing in their education.

4. Fear of taking financial risks:

Couples influenced by a scarcity mindset tend to be risk-averse when it comes to finances. They may hesitate to invest, diversify their income streams, or start a business due to fears of losing what little they have. This fear can hinder their financial growth and prevent them from pursuing opportunities that would lead to greater financial security and stability.

5. Impact on emotional well-being:

Living with a scarcity mindset can cause chronic stress, anxiety, and negative emotions. This emotional burden can spill over into other aspects of a couple's relationship, leading to increased conflict, decreased intimacy, and diminished overall satisfaction.

Some posit the ‘opposite’ of Scarcity Mindset is the Abundance Mindset. However, this can come with its own issues of overspending, etc.

A more balanced approach is an Ambivalence Mindset — One in which the values of both the scarce and abundant mindsets are met. We do need to save for a rainy day AND we also need to have some YOLO money, too!

For help on planning for this in your relationship, see the blog about Budgeting that reflects both of your values.

If you or someone you know might need help with this, have them give me a call! If I am not a good fit, I will help them find someone who is.

DrZepeda@FinancialTherapyTexas.com

Phone: 713-291-9553